Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Whats the difference between me and a goldfish?


 Someone told me recently.
"I think about things very logically. Death is just what happens to people. I don't really get sad, or affected by it. It is just what it is."
 He also told me that he hates going to funerals.....

What do I think about death?
 I am only twenty two years old. I have and have not really dealt with anyone close to me dying, but I have been affected by the death of others. I see the pain it causes, and I emotionally don't know what to make of it. If I think of it logically then yes it makes sense. You do something which then equals a reaction.When I think about it emotionally it's hard to describe in words, pictures, or any other form of art what I feel. Maybe because I don't really know how I feel. To me when someone dies the world should stop. I get angry when everything keeps going on as if nothing happened.  I want to say,
  " don't you know! Don't you know someone very important, someone very special died! Doesn't that matter to you. That you'll never know that person!"
I think yelled that for an entire day at a bunch of random strangers, that I might be put in a mental hospital, or just look like some crazy bum talking about god, or then end of the world.
As if it doesn't matter one way or another if the person existed at all. It makes me and everyone else around me feel so insignificant. Like my existence means nothing. If I was to die tomorrow, most people in the world would still go to work, drink at bars,dance in clubs, people would sleep together, babies would be born, 21st birthdays would go on, anniversaries, art would be made, others lives would be saved.
Ive been spending most of this week, indoors, alone, trying to figure out the meaning of everything.

Whats the difference between me and a goldfish?

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